Anywhere, everywhere and all at once, people are talking about Love Island USA. As someone who mainly watches the U.K. version and just so happened to be in the middle of their current season, I was hesitant about abandoning one for the other. Mainly because watching just one of these shows is a long-term commitment. But hearing about this season’s guest stars and trending sounds on Tik Tok made it impossible to resist. Keep in mind, I’m usually unphased by internet chatter. Mostly because I feel like topics can be purposely heightened by content creators, like a street team selling tickets to a struggling comedy club. However, the reactions of people watching it gave me serious FOMO and there is no motivation greater than FOMO these days. So, my sister and I decided to watch, with very little expectations but after the first episode we were immediately hooked.
If you’re fan of reality dating shows, which is a guilty pleasure that I try to limit my indulgence for, you know there is no greater hook than seeing strangers having immediate chemistry. Although at some point, as a viewer, you realize this is ultimately a gameshow with a cash prize. But what makes Love Island so good, is that they do a really good job at diverting the audience’s attention away from that fact. The first episode of the season usually consists of pairing/coupling. Which forces the viewers to buy in the show’s premise of finding love. They also rarely have the contestants mention the prize money, which probably leads the islanders to momentarily forget about it too, because even with all that on the line they can’t deny human nature or the laws of attraction. Therefore, what the viewers really end up watching is a social experiment which makes it even more interesting. But despite that element of suspense trying to figure out who will choose who, there are also moments after watching where I feel dispirited due to the islanders breaking friendships, connections, or promises for a slight chance of fame or fortune. This particular season is probably the best example of the power of influence money and fame has over the cast, or even as a society, generally speaking. But what has been the most eye-opening and disheartening theme of season for me, is how toxic masculinity has spread throughout the villa, leaving very few men and women unscathed by its effects.
It shouldn’t be that surprising to anyone, but it is shocking to watch men picking other men over the woman they are “coupled” up with. If you’re not familiar with the show “Love Island” the competition is based on teams and because the show is modeled after hetero-normative ideas of relationships, the teams consist of one boy and one girl. Most importantly the team also serves the purpose of displaying a relationship a.k.a. a couple. Long story short, the boys are in competition with each other as there are times when the numbers aren’t even and either the boy or girl has to choose who they want to couple up with. Which also means the girls compete with each other as well. Whoever is left single usually gets dumped from the island. Sometimes the group of islanders can save you from being sent home, if you’re at the bottom as a result of the audience votes or if you’re left single. So, there is a lifeline if you are playing a social game as opposed to getting to know your partner or making a love connection. However, this season, especially seems to be more about being liked by the villa as a whole than which couples have the best chemistry. Going back to the allure that men have to be accepted by other men more than a woman they are in a couple with.
You can say women are guilty of this too, and maybe to a certain extent. But personally, I haven’t seen it that much, most likely because women are usually put in positions to have to depend on a man. And somehow in this game, some of the men have positioned themselves to have all the power in their relationships. It isn’t anything new, withholding affection to make your partner work tirelessly to gain it. Or being overly critical of how your significant other shows affection, so that you can use it as an excuse to be with someone else. Some women may have attempted to do similar tactics this season but were immediately villainized for it within the villa. And as for the men’s repercussions? Well, they will continue having two or three women fighting over them. And in some cases, have the women turn on each other. Leaving the villainized woman to beg for everyone’s forgiveness. The villainized man however will continue to receive the support from their loyal followers in the villa, because for the followers it’s better to have the men on your side than stand up for the woman you been in a couple with. Strategy-wise this loyalty doesn’t guarantee you will win the money at the end so the only conclusion I’m left to assume is that to some men it is better to have the approval of a man, who is ultimately your competition than a woman you chose to be in a relationship with, who you actually need for a chance to win.
Needless to say, even though I have said it in a multitude of ways, multiple times while writing this, not choosing to align with your teammate is a wild choice. It’s like playing spades and someone challenges a move from your partner, and you agree with the opposing team because you want to earn cool points rather than actual points. But I can’t even blame the men that much, because the culture of toxic masculinity has been ingrained into them for so long and probably unknowingly. However, some men are aware of the benefits of perpetuating this behavior and those are usually the men who are the best at it. This season I have watched it make a man abandon his relationship to start another one, just for it to backfire and then have the other men use his decisions as a reason to vote him off the island. All the while the man sent home was just playing the game based off of advice he was getting from the other males. I have seen it also have every woman question their self-worth and then in turn, deflect from the problematic moves the men have made against them by projecting onto the other women and critiquing how others have played this game just to eventually play it the same way.
Despite the toxic behavior that both the men and women have displayed, I still find myself rooting for the few contestants who seem to be looking for genuine connections. Because if you can look beyond the superficial actions prompted by the surreal circumstances these islanders have inhabited you may find some authentic individuals underneath. And although the beginning of this article didn’t sound like it, I am a hopeless romantic. Because ultimately that is what it takes to survive in this current dating climate.
Similarly, is believing that people are so eager but lost when it comes to finding love that they will subject themselves to public ridicule, so far-fetched? Is it even more crazy to think that the money and fame from the show are just secondary to some of these contestants? Maybe, perhaps, but has our lack of faith in humanity resulted in an overabundance of cynicism? It seems most viewers have become too cynical to believe or have empathy for contestants struggling with impossible circumstances. And I mean struggling mentally, constantly doubting their actions and possessing little to no conflict resolution skills or healthy ways of communicating. Maybe I have that same cynicism towards the toxicity I’ve seen displayed from these men. Whatever it may be, this season was worth the watch. As much as people think reality T.V. leads to brain rot, it can also be said to lead to introspective realizations. Between all the discourse with dating and relationships, there were also discussions from viewers about race, cultural differences, and cancel culture. The main attraction for me with reality T.V. is that it provides an unfiltered view of how people interact as a society. Most of it is not pretty, and even with my expectations for men at an all time low, I continue to tune in hoping for someone to prove me wrong. I’m not sure if this season will be it, but I’m still watching just in case.
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